Thursday, May 29, 2008

perfection and contentment

Yesterday I was riding in the car with my husband, on our way to tour a house that is for sale, and realized that I was wishing to upgrade my life. I wanted more than I have, and better. More like "other" people, such as the ones on the billboards. I was discontent with life as it is.
Which is odd, considering that we have recently been so extremely blessed.
In the past year John's job sent him here to Queen City, and the extra income has made life much more comfortable.
We got married.
Are praying about buying a house (John's job is making that possible, too).
And many other things.
Yet I was striving to be better, striving against feeling inferior and striving to be more perfect.

Last night we attended "Last Wednesday" at our church. It's an evening service (on the last Wednesday of the month) that focuses on worship and partaking in communion.
I was reminded that God sees me as perfect. Not scarred, not "could be better", but perfect.
He does not even see my stumbles, just reaches to catch me as I fall and tells me that it's all right. He soothes my tears. I fail, but it's okay. He's already fought my battles, and He understands. There is no possible way that He could love me more; nothing I can do will ever impress Him. Being "better" - upgrading my life - will never ever cause Him to think more of me.
He doesn't want a more chic me, a more perfect me.
He wants my heart.
Wants me to let Him be enough, my Favorite above all else, all I need to be content.

"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength." - philippians 4:11-13

"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, 'Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.' So we say with confidence, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?'"
- hebrews 13:4-6

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