I am swamped. Positively. And rather amazed that I am getting anything done at all! But at the same time I am realizing more intensely just how much my family will miss me. How much I will miss them. I know that they love me, but until recently I have tried to brush off thinking about how things will change with me moving away. I know it will hurt when I do finally sit down and let it sink in, and I don't want to go through that.
But I need to.
Because it makes all the little moments until then more ..... more needed. Not more special, but more valuable.
I was thinking tonight about how how my grandmas are aging and what they are able to do, but more about what they aren't able to do. I began to cry. I always thought that my grandmas would be able to go shopping with me for wedding stuff, attend my showers, talk about how things change when you get married and share their wisdom. But things aren't like that. Neither one is at a place where they are able to do that, and I had a pity party.
More grieving what isn't than feeling sorry for myself, but it was still a pity party.
I miss what I have not had. Terribly.
But John reminded me tonight that both of them still love me dearly.
I needed that.
I was reminded tonight of how fleeting the time is, and how valuable is the love that they have for me. How I need to treasure my loved ones, and not let anything get in the way of loving them.
updating!
11 years ago
3 comments:
AWWW...
You made me cry. Even though I'm not moving out any time soon, I could see myself a lot in that.
All you can do is treasure the moments, and know that this is part of God's glorious plan for you.
I love you dearie and am praying for you!
Love you,
Leah
I'm praying for you. I have had to come to the same terms in regard to my grandparents. I guess that's a reason God tells us to redeem the time because it's not static.
Dear Liz, I am Natasha, Abby D's Russian friend here in MI. She forwarded me your blog so I could look at the pictures. She's been keeping me updated on your wedding preparations. I can totally understand how you feel. I think it's rather normal to feel so sad and happy at the same time. But that only shows that you love and cherish your family. I remember when i came to the US leaving my family behind in Belarus... the night I got to the States I was only able to really think about it in the shower. I cried and cried asking myself, What am I doing here? I just left everything that I knew and that was dear to me behind. The Lord was so good to provide for us and bring my whole family over for the wedding, and it got pretty stressful as the wedding got really close... God gave me a wonderful week before the wed. w my mom and dad and twin sister... we laughed so much.. like never before.. it was a great stress relief and is a fond memory now, I think I really needed that.
Now that I am on the other side of the fence... i wouldn't trade being married to jeremy for nothing. but back then it was a step into an unknown future...
I can relate to John moving without you being there, it was the same with us. Needless to say I had to make some rearrangement of things when I moved in. ha-ha!
Well, I just wanted to encourage you. May God bless you abundantly and give you peace.
Natasha
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