Yes, I know that it is 3:30 in the morning.
But I've noticed that this funny thing happens to me when I'm pregnant - my normally sound sleep (very sound, as in, almost comatose) gets much lighter and I can hear sounds through my sleep. Sounds like the road repair blocks away and the downstairs neighbors' toilet running. And I wake up.
Sleep flees for a while and I am left lying in bed next to John, trying not to wake him, thinking in the middle of the night (and trying not to be annoyed by being awakened by mere water running or distant jackhammering).
Tonight as I was lying there thinking random (would it be really rude of me to knock on the neighbor's door and ask them if I can adjust their toilet float thingy for them? it would, wouldn't it ....) and not so random thoughts (gratefulness for the warm strong arm that tightens around me when I stir), I spent some time thinking and praying about this little baby that is making it's way into our lives. A new little - unexpected - bundle to love and care for. Our second child. Due June 1. He or she already has all of their appendages formed and movable, has ten discernible fingers, is developing neurons at an astonishing rate and is still the size of a large grape.
So tiny. And yet has a soul. It is our baby, entrusted to our care by God.
I was so surprised to find out that God's plans for our family were - once again - different than I had planned (I really shouldn't be surprised by that, but I always am. It's almost as if I actally expect God to follow my plan or something ...). I pretty much came up sputtering and dazed. It took me nearly a week before I was able to wrap my mind around having another baby in seven months (and if you're counting, yes, that will make Emma 15 months old).
My absolute first response, though, as I stared at the positive test was, "God's plan is better."
Because it is.
Not only is His plan better, but it is perfect.
One of my all time favorite verses in James 1:17: Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
Good and perfect gifts from our Father. Because He is good and perfect, He cannot give any other kind. Oh, some of His gifts may seem untimely or out of place, but they aren't. They are just right for us now.
In the same way that we in our finiteness delight to give to our own children, He delights to give us gifts, good gifts that will bless us (Matt 7: 11).
I know that the next few years will be full to bursting and there will be difficult days. But it will be good.
Because God is blessing us, rewarding us, giving us joy (Psalm 127:3-5). There really is no greater honor than to be entrusted with the care of a child, and now God has given us two.
updating!
11 years ago
2 comments:
Lizzie~ Before I begin I must give you some background to who I am other than the "lurker" of your very beautiful blog post today. I am a friend of the Smilie family in Colorado. I too have been blessed by His timing, one of those times dealt with your husband and his unbelievable family. I worked with Jill Morian, and met your Mom in law and as two kindred hearts would, we became fast friends. I too was courted by my husband in Romania and therefore shared the joy of your relationship through Terri's tid bits, and of course Sarah too! When our family went through a time of unemployment the Smilies graciously stepped forward to care for my youngest Luke Daniel. I left him at 5 months, to go back to work full time. It was one of the hardest days as a Momma I have faced, but to leave him with Terri and the "crew" was an enormous blessing. The Smilie boys taught Luke how to shoot, get dirty and enjoy the life of a boy. To this day, he is such a joyful guy and in part I thank the Smilies. So all this background.. just to let you know, that I am so deeply moved by not only your obedience but your amazing beauty as a young Mom. Dear, your wisdom supersedes your years by many....you have an amazing gift and your delight and joy for the King overflows in your words, pictures and simple statements. Thank you for blessing me today... and I look forward to more lurking in the days ahead. For more on my family....www.wengerjoyx3.blogspot.com Blessings, Kimberly
From another "lurker", I always enjoy your posts and am left with a very warm happy feeling after reading them and am touched and inspired by your reflections. I love your appreciation for the simple, the beautiful, the homey, and the priceless "things" in this life. :) Can't wait to see God's newest blessing in "person" (on your blog) someday. :)
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