O Worship

O worship the King, all glorious above
O gratefully sing His wonderful love
Our Shield and Defender, the Ancient of Days  
Pavilioned in splendor, and girded with praise

O tell of His might, O sing of His grace  
Whose robe is the light and canopy space
 His chariots of wrath the deep thunderclouds form  
And dark is His path on the wings of the storm

O measureless might, ineffable love
While angels delight to worship above  
Thy mercies how tender, how firm to the end
Our Maker, Defender, Redeemer, and Friend

This earth, with its store of wonders untold,
Almighty, thy power hath founded of old:
Hath stablished it fast by a changeless decree,
And round it hath cast, like a mantle, the sea.

Thy bountiful care what tongue can recite?  
It breathes in the air, it shines in the light;
It streams from the hills, it descends to the plain,
 And sweetly distills in the dew and the rain.

Frail children of dust, and feeble as frail,
 In thee do we trust, nor find thee to fail;
Thy mercies how tender! How firm to the end!
Our Maker, Defender, Redeemer, and Friend.

O measureless Might, ineffable Love,
While angels delight to hymn thee above,
Thy humbler creation, though feeble their lays,
With true adoration shall sing to thy praise.
-robert grant



How great, how mighty is our God. We can but worship.

for when I become complacent

"Disturb us, Lord, when We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely
Because we sailed too close to the shore.

"Disturb us, Lord, when
With the abundance of things we possess
We have lost our thirst
For the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth,
We have allowed our vision
Of the new Heaven to dim.

"Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wider seas
Where storms will show your mastery;
Where losing sight of land,
We shall find the stars.
We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes;
And to push into the future
In strength, courage, hope, and love.

-Sir Francis Drake


I've read this prayer before, but it was a while ago and I had forgotten about it. The little ones and I were visiting Brian and Leah over the weekend while John was hunting, and the pastor of their church led the church in reading this together during the worship service.
I've been pondering it for a few days and thought I'd post it to share with you all.


Disturb us, Lord, when We are too well pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true
Because we have dreamed too little
...
Having fallen in love with life,
We have ceased to dream of eternity
...

We ask You to push back
The horizons of our hopes


I've found that sometimes God uses poetry to re-say things that He has said before, things that I've heard so many times that my ears and heart become deaf to them.
God has plans and dreams for our family that are so much bigger, broader, deeper, higher and more wondrous than we can imagine (Isaiah 55:8-9), partly because He is God - all knowing, all seeing, all present - but partly because we are at times content to dream little dreams.

So, Father, what dreams would You have us dream? Disturb us, Lord.

just a song on the radio

John had to work on Sunday, so it was just me and the little ones going to church. We dropped him off (kisses all around - Emma loves giving kisses right now) and then Emma asked me to turn on the music (she also loves to sing and "dance" in her carseat as we're driving).

After a few minutes "No Matter What" by Kerrie Roberts came on:

I’m running back to Your promises one more time
Lord that’s all I can hold on to
I gotta say this has taken me by surprise, but nothing surprises You
Before a heartache can ever touch my life
It has to go through Your hands
And even though I keep asking why, I keep asking why

No matter what, I’m gonna love You
No matter what I’m gonna need You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, if not, I’ll trust You no matter what, no matter what

When I’m stuck and there’s nothing else by myself
I’m just sitting in silence
There’s no way I can make it without Your help, I won’t even try it
I know You have Your reasons for everything so I will keep believing
Whatever I might be feeling, God You are my hope
And You will be my strength

Anything I don’t have You can give it to me, but it’s OK if You don’t
I’m not here for those things
The touch of Your love is enough on its own
No matter what I still love You and I’m gonna need You

No matter what I’m gonna love You, no matter what I’m gonna need You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, if not, I’ll trust You
I know You can find a way to keep me from the pain
But if not, but if not, I’ll trust You

No matter what
No matter no matter what
No matter no matter what
No matter no matter what


There was one line in particular that struck me, and as I pondered it, the truth that was in it ministered to my spirit as much - or maybe more than? - the fellowship and sermon that we enjoyed later that morning.
Before a heartache can ever touch my life
It has to go through Your hands

While I know that God is sovereign and permits trials to come into our lives for our benefit, I sometimes realize that I have forgotten that God is with me, before and behind, in my heartache as well as my joy.

It is easy for me to forget that He doesn't just allow any pain to come into my life, no, just that which He is using to shape me for His glory.

Everything He does has purpose, and everything that He allows to touch me will end up being for my good - even the things that really hurt, the things that - at the time - I wish never happened.
It all goes through God's hands before it touches me.
I can trust Him.
Even when I can't see the hope through my tears, I can trust Him.



(nothing is going on right now, just in case you are wondering!)

amazing and full of wonder

My sister-in-law posted some ultrasound photos of our new little nephew or niece on facebook the other day.
As I was looking at them this morning I found myself choking up - they amaze me.
This little one already has a soul, an eternal soul. God knows his/her name and has known it since before the beginning of time. Even before it was ever spoken of, He know of Baby Smillie's existence. Oh, these things are amazing and full of wonder.

I was thinking about the verses where God talks about knowing us before we were conceived, knitting our bones and muscles together, seeing us while we were hidden away in the safety and darkness of our mothers' wombs.
Amazing.


O LORD, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
   you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
   and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
   behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
You hem me in, behind and before,
   and lay your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
   it is high; I cannot attain it.

Where shall I go from your Spirit?
   Or where shall I flee from your presence?
If I ascend to heaven, you are there!
    If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
If I take the wings of the morning
   and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
even there your hand shall lead me,
   and your right hand shall hold me.
If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,
   and the light about me be night,"
 even the darkness is not dark to you;
   the night is bright as the day,
   for darkness is as light with you.

For you formed my inward parts;
   you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works;
   my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret,
   intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
Your eyes saw my unformed substance;in your book were written, every one of them,
   the days that were formed for me,
   when as yet there was none of them.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
   How vast is the sum of them!
If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
   I awake, and I am still with you.
 -psalm 139:1-18

poem and ponderings

God's Grandeur

The world is charged with the grandeur of God.               The heavens declare the glory of God;

  It will flame out, like shining from shook foil;                   the skies proclaim the work of his hands. 

  It gathers to a greatness, like the ooze of oil                                                              -Psalm 19:1

Crushed. Why do men then now not reck his rod?                   Creation itself also will be set free from its

Generations have trod, have trod, have trod;                          slavery to corruption into the freedom of

  And all is seared with trade; bleared, smeared with toil;         the glory of the children of God.

  And wears man's smudge and shares man's smell: the soil     For we know that the whole creation groans and

Is bare now, nor can foot feel, being shod.                             suffers the pangs of childbirth together until now. ...

                                                                                         but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us

And for all this, nature is never spent;                                 with groanings too deep for words;

 There lives the dearest freshness deep down things;                                                - Romans 8:21-22,26

And though the last lights off teh black West went

  Oh, morning, at the brown brink eastward, springs --

Because the Holy Ghost over the bent

  World broods with warm breast and with ah! bright wings.

- Gerard Manley Hopkins

humble, joy-filled, God-dependent mothering

One of my friends texted me the other day asking how I was doing with emotionally, if I was feeling the "Baby Blues". I hadn't taken time recently to think about it - too much has been going on!
Once I took the time to think, though, I realized that I am doing okay - if I'm not tired. When I'm tired my emotions rise to just below the surface and almost anything can cause tears or "shortness". Especially when both babies are being needy at the same time.

I found this blog post this afternoon about mothering that really spoke to my heart and I wanted to share a part of it.


"Motherhood ... laughs in the face of our competence and confidence we try so hard to feel and have in a society that tells us we can do anything we want and do it good.

Motherhood can make a wimp out of us. Out of me.

...Don't make motherhood an idol. Or motherhood your identity. If you do, you have failed at the calling you think you have and the fruit you thought you would reap, will devastate you.

But the truth is, ... when you get into it all, you find it just doesn't mix with a self-seeking heart. ... It's easy to lose our hearts to the glitter of a self-important career and forget that there are hearts under our charge that need our unconditional love and acceptance and training -- AND IT'S WORTH IT.

I want to RISE TO THE CHALLENGE to the hardest career I could have ever chosen. Yep, I will probably have to tell myself this each and everyday. Not because I don't LOVE every single one of my children, and not because I don't love motherhood, but because it's hard. And though I typically love a good challenge, this motherhood stuff goes beyond that. I can't do it without God.


So Father, give me the strength
To be everything I'm called to be
Oh, Father, show me the way
To lead them
Won't You lead me?


To lead them with strong hands
To stand up when they can't
Don't want to leave them hungry for love,
Chasing things that I could give up


I'll show them I'm willing to fight
And give them the best of my life
So we can call this our home
Lead me, 'cause I can't do this alone
-"Lead Me" by Sanctus Real "



 It's so true. Having Emma was an entirely new experience in relying on God, but it didn't wear me out. Having Ian and Emma? It's driving me to my knees.
I want to give them and John "the best of my life" but I can't do it. Not by myself.

an old and favorite poem

"Trees" by Joyce Kilmer
I think that I shall never see
A poem lovely as a tree ...